


A Simple Misunderstanding

by KirstieJ



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: (sorrtta kidfic i guesss?), Alternate Universe - Bakery, Bitty doesn't follow the NHL...., Kid Fic, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Nicknames, Original Character(s), Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7565692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirstieJ/pseuds/KirstieJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Bitty's tweets about the new regular customer he's dubbed "Hot Hockey Dad" and the situations that inspired said tweets. Set in an AU where Bitty and Jack never met at Samwell, though they both attended it at different times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Simple Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my hand at using some French in this story, sorry in advance if it's not entirely correct**!! If anyone has a better way to say any of the things I wrote in French, please let me know. I took a 5-week French program recently so I employed those skills but that doesn't mean I didn't mess up anywhere (all over the place) haha. Translations are in the end notes :>
> 
> **a lovely individual commented with some corrections so hopefully it's better now~  
> ***A few lovely people have offered corrections. I hope it's mostly good now!

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

There’s this hot dad who has been coming by the bakery as of late. He was here tuesday with two kids, and he’s here again today.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I think theyre coming from hockey practice or something? The kids are in jerseys and the dad has a hockey bag.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Like he sorta looks too young to be a dad of kids that age but, then again, young people have can kids.             

  
    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Also, they all speak French. I cant understand any of it. Still, it’s #adorbs

 

“Here you go!” Bitty said, handing over two sandwiches and two pastries. He was met with a polite ‘thankyou’ before the man turned to his his two francophone children, speaking French to them.

Bitty turned around and quickly tapped out his tweets, referencing the man he’d just been speaking to. Even when he had friends around, he frequently used social media, and it only got worse when he actually didn’t have much to do. There were no customers to be waited on, mid-afternoon was usually pretty slow for the bakery he worked at.

Bitty put down his phone and glanced again at the little family of three. He wasn’t kidding when he’d called the man a “hot” dad. The guy was tall, with beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous face shape. He could hear what they were saying, but he couldn’t understand a word of it, and it was all too fast for him to try to comprehend. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping on customers, but when he couldn’t understand them what was the harm?

The man had a beautiful laugh to go with his beautiful face, Bitty noted, as he laughed at something his daughter said. Bitty sighed, thinking of how lucky his wife must be, then shook his head. He spent far too much time lamenting his relationship status lately, it was unbecoming.

A new customer came in, pulling Bitty from his thoughts as he cheerfully greeted the woman. He happily served her a slice of his pie in a to-go box, and she was on her way.

The lunch rush was over, and it was a little quieter than usual. Bitty didn’t mind too much. And, hey, since he couldn’t understand the French he was hearing at least he could appreciate how nice it sounded.

After the picturesque family took their leave, Bitty went to take their plates and tidy them up. He smiled as he pocketed the change left behind. Tips were always nice. If he remembered correctly, the man had tipped him well the last time, too.   

* * *

 

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Hot Hockey Dad is here again today, with his two lovely children.

  
    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I only mention it because he accidentally spoke French to me. We had a good 20-second staring contest until we both figured out what happened.

  
    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

It was cute how he stammered out the English translation in a wonderfully awkward fashion. his kids laughed at him. I dunno if they speak English (p sure they do?) but they understood their dad was being a giant dweeb and that warms my heart

 

"Est-ce que je pourrais avoir un café et deux morceaux de tarte aux pommes, s'il vous plaît?"”

“Uh,” Bitty just blinked at the attractive French guy currently trying to communicate with him. He’d been in the bakery at least two times before, so Bitty knew he spoke English perfectly well (even if he had an accent. A beautiful accent). Why he decided to suddenly switch to French, Bitty wasn’t sure.

“S-sorry,” the man touched a finger to his forehead. “Um. C-can I have a coffee, and, uh, two slices of apple pie? Please?” the children at his sides giggled and he shot them little looks.

Bitty broke out into a grin, “Why of course, darling, why didn’t you just say so?” The children laughed even more, which made Bitty think they might speak English, or at least understand it. Maybe it was just in his tone.

The man grumbled and Bitty pressed his lips together. He really shouldn’t tease customers he didn’t know.  He flashed smiles at the guy’s kids, who looked pleased with him. Besides, Hot Hockey Dad didn’t look _too_ annoyed, just sort of embarrassed. And, really, part of Bitty wanted to make some sort of comment like “you can say anything as long as you keep speaking French to me, dear lord”. He was lucky he held back.

“Coming right up,” Bitty assured him, turning to get the pie and coffee to serve.

* * *

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Okay so I prob should have figured this out by now but I’m preeetttyy sure Hot Hockey Dad is from Canada. He’s pretty polite, even if he comes off as a little grumpy too (it’s strange. Yet it makes him no less attractive, which is even weirder).

  
    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Like, he said please twice when ordering his food. He’s becoming a regular here. (I ain’t complaining).

  
The next time Hot Hockey Dad was in, the kids seemed a little more wound up. Maybe they’d won a game, or something? They must be going to a camp, though, because it wasn’t the regular hockey season. It had been a while since Bitty had played hockey, the last time he did so regularly being in his first year of college. Still, he knew the general layout of the year.

Bitty wasn’t entirely sure, because he didn’t have children of his own so he didn’t pay enough attention, but he thought perhaps the local university had various sports-related camps. It was a likely enough story, right?

Anyway, Bitty greeted his customers cheerfully, as he always did. The daughter was tugging on her dad’s sleeve, grinning up at him. She asked for something in rushed French and he nodded, then turned to the other child. The boy had his hands on the glass of the display, pointing at a couple things, also speaking quickly. The man put his hand on his son’s back and the child said one more thing.

Hot Hockey Dad took a deep breath, “Okay. We would like: two ham and cheese sandwiches, a coffee, two chocolate milk, a double-chocolate cookie and a slice of apple pie.”

Bitty nodded his head, “Great. The sandwiches before the dessert?”

“Yes, please. The coffee with the food, though. Please,” he repeated, as the children scurried over to take the spot near the window.

“Of course,” Bitty flashed a smile. “I can bring it over if you want.”

“It’s okay,” Hot Hockey Dad said. Bitty went over to the fridge to grab the sandwiches, putting them each on a plate. He placed the plates on the counter, which the man picked up. While he delivered the food to his children, Bitty poured the coffee and set out the two chocolate milk. As the man took the drinks over, Bitty got out a small plate for the cookie and made to warm the apple pie. Although he expected the man would get up and get it, Bitty decided to run it over to him, anyway. There wasn’t anybody waiting at the counter or anything.

“Here ya go,” Bitty put the pie and cookie down. “Is everything okay so far?”

The two children eagerly nodded their heads.

“Dit merci,” the man shot glances at the children.

The girl swallowed the bite of sandwich she was scarfing down, “Merci!”

“En Anglais,” Hot Hockey Dad huffed and Bitty laughed.

“It’s okay, I know that one. Uh, de rien!” Bitty paused as the kids smiled up at him, “sorry, I know my accent is absolutely atrocious. It’s bad enough in English, right? I’m hopeless for French.”

“Non, it’s not a big deal. At least you make an effort, that counts,” the children laughed again and he glanced pointedly at them. The two seemed impervious to his grumpy visage, though.

Bitty laughed lightly too. “Well, y’all let me know if I can get you anything else, hm?”

“Okay,” the man nodded and Bitty returned to his post in order to tweet more about Hot Hockey Dad and how he was definitely Canadian. Oh, what an exciting existence he led. At least he’d have the weekend to get together with friends and have some actual fun.

* * *

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Soo…. Umm… I think I might have tried to flirt a little with Hot Hockey Dad. Just a tiny bit.

 

   Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

But like he was maybe kind of flirting back? Oh Lord I’m totally reading into this way too much. #TheThirstIsReal

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

What if he has a wife? Am I flirting with a married man? Is a married man flirting with me?

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I definitely shouldn’t assume stuff like that I don’t know that much about this guy. Im gonna check for a ring next time he’s in…  

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Oh!!! Sidenote: HOT HOCKEY DAD HAS A NAME. 

 

“So what can I get for you today, sir? Or should I call you monsieur? Y’know, because, French and all that?” Bitty did a good job of keeping his face steady as he awkwardly tried to pal around with the guy. He was pleasantly surprised at how he managed to keep his face pleasant, because it really wasn’t that funny in the first place.  

Blessedly, the man gave him a small smile in return. “Well, uh, you could just call me Jack.”

“That what your friends call you?” Bitty quipped.

“Um, generally, yeah. I have a couple stupid hockey nicknames, but I mostly go by Jack,” the guy gave a sure nod and Bitty laughed. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was supposed to be joking, but he thought Hot Hockey Dad -Jack- looked a little more pleased when Bitty laughed.

“Hockey, hmm? I assume the kids play, since they’re always in jerseys and whatnot,” Bitty nodded at the two who were sitting in their favourite seat neat the window.

“Ah, yes. They’re at a training camp, for kids.”

“And you play as well?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You any good, Mister Jack?” Bitty asked, quirking his eyebrow up, and Jack laughed good-naturedly.

“I like to think I am, yes. I try really hard to be, that is to say.”

“I’m sure you’re a wonderful player,” Bitty smiled fondly. He might have imagined the redness on Jack’s cheeks.

“Thanks,” Jack nodded his head.

“I used to play hockey, a few years ago.” Jack’s eyebrows shot up, as everyone’s did when he mentioned that. “I know, I know. Hard to contain the shock, right?”

“Sorry,” Jack made his face neutral and Bitty chuckled.

“Awh, it’s nothing. Everyone’s surprised to learn I’ve played hockey. And if I’m being completely honest, I always did prefer figure skating anyway. Hockey is great, don’t get me wrong, but figure skating was a little more fun for me,” Bitty shrugged and Jack nodded.

“I can respect that.”

“Anyway,” Bitty tapped his fingers on the counter three times, “would you like to order?”

“Oh, right,” Bitty laughed during Jack’s short pause. “Um. A turkey sandwich, a ham and cheese, and a coffee. And two mini blueberry pies, please.”

“Coming right up,” Bitty flashed him one more smile and went to work on the order.

* * *

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

For those of you following the chronicles of Hot Hockey Dad: no, he doesn’t have a wedding ring

   

Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

He does, however, have a SAMWELL COLLEGE RING? GUYS! WE WENT TO THE SAME COLLEGE. WHAT THE HECK!!!

 

“Say,” Bitty started, starting to punch the numbers in for Jack’s order. “What’s that ring you’re wearing?”

“Huh? Oh,” Jack looked down at his right hand. “My college ring, Samwell.”

Bitty’s eyes went comically wide as Jack held out his hand. Bitty didn’t even think as he took Jack’s hand (it was surprisingly soft) and looked a little closer.

“I’ll be damned. Get the heck out,” Bitty muttered, disbelief in his voice.

“Uh… I haven’t paid yet,” Jack blinked and Bitty lifted his head.

“Not that way!” Bitty waved one hand to indicate Jack was being ridiculous and used his other hand to dig around the pocket of the apron he was wearing. A moment later, he produced a similar looking ring with a different year on it. “I went to Samwell too!”

“No way,” Jack looked as surprised as Bitty had been. The two of them started to laugh. “My mother went there before me. But, uh, I didn’t finish my degree in a usual fasion.”

“No?” Bitty quirked his eyebrow up.

“No. I, um, did a couple regular years then stopped to play hockey, and then I took some online courses and did some stuff during summer in order to finish.”

“Aah, I see.”

“You didn’t play on the hockey team there, did you?” Jack tilted his head to the side.

“Uh, yeah, one year of it. It was.. a great experience, but it ended up not being for me,” Bitty shrugged his shoulder. “Still, I made some good friends on the team.”

“Ah,” Jack nodded. He glanced over when his son started to tap on his shoulder.

“On doit partir, il est presque quatre heures” 

“Ah, désolé. On va y aller,” Jack pat the head of the young boy next to him. “Sorry, I’ve got to go. We’ll have to talk more about Samwell another day.”

“That sounds fine by me,” Bitty gave him a warm smile, and Jack smiled back. The child tugged on his shirt, grumbling “alller”. Jack sighed and turned on leave. On his way out, he held the door open for three girls entering the bakery.

* * *

   

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Hot Hockey Dad called his daughter a smartass today in front of me. Soooo not something I expected from him (def funny though).

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Also I have no idea what warranted him calling her that, because she was being a smartass in French. Apparently she blackmailed him? I have no idea. What even is this bakery and it’s patrons??

 

Bitty was happily chatting with Jack about their shared love of Faber when they both attended Samwell when the little girl next to Jack started hitting his arm. He turned to her with a quiet, “Quoi?”

“J'essaye d'être patiente, mais tu jases pas mal. Je sais que tu l'aimes bien, j'aimerais bien avoir un morceau de tarte. Tu parleras avec ton chum tantôt quand il va travailler,” Jack’s face turned red as he gave her a fierce look.

“Ne dit pas que je-Sophie!”

“On s'en fout Jack, il ne comprend rien. Demande-lui pour la tarte!”

"Non, fais-le toi! Chochotte.”

“Tu sais que je ne veux pas parler Anglais!”

“Je m’en fous,” Jack shook his head.

“Mais Jack, j'hais ça. Si tu m'obliges à parler en anglais, je vais lui dire que tu as un crush sur lui.”

“Chut!”

Bitty watched the encounter with an amused look on his face. He glanced at the little boy on Jack’s other side, who gave him a shrug with two hands up.

“Ils se chicanent,” he said. Bitty nodded as if he understood as Jack sighed and turned to him.

“Déso-er, Sorry about that. She’s being a smartass. She’s blackmailing me into speaking for her,” he sighed. “Can I have one of those blueberry mini pies?”

“Sure thing,” Bitty smiled bemusedly.

“Deux!” the boy said.

“Uh, two of those,” Jack added. Bitty just laughed.

“Merci!” the girl grinned up and Jack mumbled something under his breath.

“C’est pas gentil,” the boy said from next to him, and Jack just gave him a glare. The boy looked away, but he was smiling.

“You, uh, you didn’t understand what she was saying there, did you?” Jack asked.

“Not a lick,” Bitty assured him. Jack looked relieved. “So, are you saying they can speak English, and just choose to speak French?” Bitty asked as he handed Jack two mini pies, which he gave to the kids.

“Yeah, they can speak English pretty well. They just refuse to do so when they’re alone with me,” Jack rolled his eyes as the kids rushed off to their seats. “They have to speak English with pretty much everybody else here. They’re having a lot of fun, but I know they miss Quebec. And their mother, as well.”

“Mhh. You’re all from there, Quebec?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded. “It’s a nice place.”

“I’m sure. I’ve only been to Canada once, never to Quebec though.”

“Maybe one day you’ll go there,” Jack suggested and Bitty smiled at him. He seemed a little awkward, perhaps because of the fight with his daughter.

“Maybe! I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Well. Uh, if we’re ever there at the same time, I can show you around. Or something. If you want,” Jack glanced down.

“Sounds like a plan! I’d like that, honestly,” Bitty watched as Jack lifted his eyes back up to him. He seemed guarded, or something. “I’ll let you know if I’m planning a trip,” Bitty told him with a wink. Jack’s face went a little red.

“Great. Um. Sophie and Cédric are probably eager to get going, so,” Jack glanced back at the children who were sitting, scarfing down their pie.

“See ya, Jack,” Bitty gave him one last smile before turned around. “Y’all have a good day!” Bitty called to them. The children turned and waved before the three left.

* * *

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Hot Hockey Dad came in at a different time for the first time today.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Also he caught me singing songs from Waitress. Oops.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I’m just surprised it wasn’t Beyoncé. Most of my regulars catch me singing Beyoncé, eventually.

 

Standing off to the side, Bitty sprinkled some sugar on top of some pastries that would be going in the display once he finished with them.

Bitty hummed to himself, a tune familiar to him by now. “ _When it’s done, I can smile. It’s on someone’s else’s plate for a while_ ,” he sang quietly to himself, not bothering to attempt to mask his accent at all. He didn’t notice when someone entered the shop, moving on to scoop some filling into crust he had prepared earlier. He hummed the next part of the song, then sang a little more, “ _I can fix this. I can twist it into sugar, butter, covered pieces. Never mind what’s underneath it._ ”

Bitty continued to hum as he went to pop the mini pies into the little oven in front. There was another, larger oven for the majority of the baking in the back. He twirled around, then jumped.

“Lord! I did _not_ hear you come in,” Bitty placed a hand over his heart. Jack looked concerned.

“Sorry, I, uh, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay,” Bitty laughed. “Did you just catch me singing, by any chance?”

“Um. Yes, I heard you. Sorry,” he apologized again.

Bitty waved his hand, “Honestly, most of the people who come in here on the regular end up hearing me sing. More than once. I tend to sing more in the mornings, for whatever reason, so I guess that’s why it took you so long to be graced by my beautiful voice.” Bitty said the last part with a snort.

“It was nice. Your singing,” Jack told him and Bitty just laughed.

“You’re too kind. Can I getcha anything? No kids today?”

“No, no kids with me. They’re with my sister. And, uh, I was wondering if you happened to have any peanut butter and jam sandwiches, by any chance? If not, that’s fine.”

“Well, I don’t have any, but I sure can whip one up for you. What kind of jam would you like?”

“Are you sure? I don’t mean to trouble you,” Jack bent his brows down.

“How about apple? Are you a grape guy? I have those two, strawberry, and peach.”

“Um, peach,” Jack told him. Bitty nodded, then turned to get what he needed. Jack hung around by the counter, as he usually did.

“Y’know, I hardly ever see you eat anything here. Everything you buy is just for the kids,” Bitty said, observant.

“Ah, yeah, I’m on a diet. Not, like, a fad diet thing or anything, but I have a nutrition plan. Hockey, y’know?”

“Hah, a little, I guess. I was never on any sort of diet for hockey. Maybe that was one of my problems,” Bitty mused, fetching a plate for Jack’s sandwich.

“My best piece of advice is to eat more protein,” Jack stated. Bitty laughed a little.

“Is that why you’re having peanut butter?” he asked, scrunching his nose at Jack as he passed off the plate.

“No,” Jack said. He glanced down at the plate, then over at Bitty. “PB&J is a usually game-day thing for me, but I haven’t played a real game since our regular season ended, and I haven’t had one for what seems like forever. It’s my ‘cheat day’, so I figured I should spend it well, eh?”

Bitty made a noise of realization. “It’s your cheat day, you say?”

“Yes.”

“Mmh. Well, you go and eat your sandwich. I’ll be right back,” Bitty grinned as Jack wandered over to the table he usually sat at with his kids. Jack confused the hell out of Bitty, at that point. He seemed to enjoy conversing with Bitty, often to the point where he’d just hang out at the counter as long as Bitty wasn’t waiting on somebody else. He was often sort of awkward in how he spoke or what he said, and Bitty found it endearing. He liked seeing Jack in a good mood, he was even willing to play along with Bitty’s jokes and chirping at times.

If anything, Bitty was sure of one thing; He had a hell of a crush on that awkward French Canadian Hot Hockey Dad.

Bitty ducked into the back to grab a slice of maple-crusted apple pie. He was lucky he had it, it was a special item they had on some weekends and sort of just when he felt like it. This particular pie had been made in preparation for Chowder coming to visit him. Despite Bitty quitting the hockey team, he remained good friends with many of the members, Chowder included. He baked a few of their old favourites for the visit, but he could always re-make the maple-crusted one.

“ _Sugar, butter, flour, don’t let me down,”_ Bitty sang again. “ _Let’s see the next amazing thing baking does now!”_ Bitty warmed a slice of the pie, then plated it and walked out.

“Here we are,” Bitty said. “It’s your cheat day, you came here, the least you can do is try my pie.”

“I-,” Jack glanced down at the plate, “okay?”

Bitty smiled at him.

“It’s apple?” Jack asked. Bitty nodded.

“But it’s special,” Bitty added, with a grin.

“Special? It won’t poison me, right?” Jack asked, looking up at him. Bitty lightly swatted Jack on the arm and he laughed.

“How dare you imply my pie would bring anything but joy to a human being. Shame on you,” Bitty clicked his tongue and Jack laughed more.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s wonderful pie.”

“Well, why don’t you just try it and find out?” Bitty knew he baked well, but he did like to hear people’s honest opinions of his stuff. If they didn’t like it, he could take it.

Jack gave in and took a bite of the pie as Bitty waited on expectantly. A girl walked in the door, and Bitty glanced over at her, but she just took the other window seat and dropped her bookbag on the ground. Nothing that needed immediate attention.

“This is amazing,” Jack told him, looking up. “It’s got maple?”

Bitty let out an airy laugh, “That’s right. Maple-crusted apple. One of my own favourites, honestly.”

“I can see why. Or, uh, taste why. Except, that’s weird so maybe not,” Bitty laughed at the dorky rambling Jack was doing, but he didn’t seem to care. He took another bite of pie instead.

“Alright, you enjoy that, now.” Bitty gave Jack’s shoulder a little squeeze (getting a little bolder, evidently), then turned to go back behind the counter.

The girl with the bag got up a few minutes later and ordered a coffee and muffin, then went and sat down with a tablet on the table in front of her.

Jack got up and brought his plates over to Bitty, thanking him for the food. He got out his wallet, and Bitty held up his hands.

“Naw, this one’s on me.”

Jack furrowed his eyebrows, “No, I couldn’t possibly.”

“Oh, c’mon. You’ve left enough tips here to warrant more than a slice of pie and a sandwich. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how well you tip, either. It’s ridiculous.”

“I-is that a bad thing? Would you prefer I not tip that much?” Jack asked, but it was in earnest. He appeared genuinely worried he was doing something wrong, his cheeks a tiny bit pink.

“No, it ain’t bad, it’s just… I dunno.. I doubt really deserve it,” Bitty said with a shrug.

“Oh. You definitely do,” Jack told him, sounding sincere. It was Bitty’s turn to blush.

“Why, thank you. I’m still not letting you pay,” Bitty said, nodding at Jack’s wallet.

“I’ll just tip you twice as well next time,” Jack assured him. Bitty rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious,” Jack insisted.

“I can tell,” Bitty told him.

Jack sighed, “Okay. Well, I have to go meet my sister and her kids. Have a nice day, Eric.”

“You too, Jack.” Bitty flashed him a smile and went to wipe down the tables once Jack had left.

* * *

 

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I have some shocking news, y’all.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

According to Shitty, who was at Samwell when Hot Hockey Dad was studying there… Hot Hockey Dad isn’t actually a dad at all. Yea, I know. I couldn’t believe it.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I guess he’ll have to be known as Hot Hockey Guy from now or. Hot Hockey Uncle? (according to Shitty the kids are probably his niece and nephew).

   

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Or, yknow, Jack. Since that is his name and all. Still.

   

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease      

The part I cant believe is I’m only finding out about this now. Like, he told me he went to Samwell and he played hockey forever ago. I have a bunch of friends from that hockey team, how did I not realize we might have some mutual friends???? I feel like a dumbass.

   

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

But… Hey, on the flip side, I got confirmation that Jack is single

 

“I really should have brought this up to you over the phone or skype or something, but it kept slipping my mind, and then I was all ‘Shitty’s gonna visit later this month, I might as well just have a good ol gossip sesh with him once he’s here. I know he’s busy and we’ve always got plenty to talk about anyway’. So, I left it at that.”

“Brah, what is it that you actually want to tell me?”

“Okay, I’ll start from the beginning,” Bitty said, glancing down at his phone as he scrolled through his twitter. “There’s this guy who started coming in last month or so. He comes in with these two kids and often a hockey bag or jerserys or something on every Tuesday and Thursday, which just so happen to be my two afternoon shifts weekly. I assumed the kids were his, so I started calling him Hot Hockey Dad to myself and to twitter, and the friends I actually get to see on a daily basis, y’know.”

“Uh huuh, Hot Hockey Dad. What, he’s single? Didja bang?”

“Shitty, ssh, no. We’re not there yet. He doesn’t wear a ring, so he’s not married, at least. And, no, we haven’t banged, Jesus.”

“Awh-Oh! Oh, hold up a minute. I nearly forget, I gotta watch this fucking interview.”

“What?! I’m telling a story here, Shits.”

“Bro, it will only be like five minutes. This guy is one of my best friends from Samwell! I’ll be hanging out with the beautiful fucker sometime this week, maybe I can introduce you two,” Shitty mused. He held up his phone and followed the link Lardo had texted him to a livestream of some sports show.

He started the video and Bitty looked over his shoulder from behind the counter. There were two men talking, but they were leading up to an introduction for their guest interviewee, Jack Zimmermann.

The name held no great importance to Bitty, not until the camera panned over to another reporter sitting with the NHL hockey player. Bitty’s jaw hit the counter as Jack opened his mouth to greet the reporter and the viewers. He was immediately asked about his “trade to Providence” and how he “liked being back on the East Coast”.

“Oh. My god. My sweet baby Jesus, what the fuck?”

“Isn’t he gorgeous? Fucking French Canadian Adonis,” Shitty sighed.

“No, not that. I mean, yes, he’s gorgeous but- Shitty! That is _him_ , that’s Hot Hockey Dad!”

“What?” Shitty’s head whipped around and he was staring right at Bitty since he’d leaning in to see Shitty’s phone. “Bits, this is Jack Zimmermann, NHL hockey star. He’s not a fucking dad. Though he would make a damn good one.”

“I.. okay, whatever, but that is the guy who comes in here every Tuesday and Thursday with two kids and hockey stuff. That is him, Shits.” Shitty burst out laughing, the interview all but forgotten as Jack talked, on screen, about how he was finding the Falconers and how he was fitting in with his new teammates.

“That is _amazing_. You mean to tell me you’ve been calling Jack Zimmerman ‘Hot Hockey Dad’ for _two months?_ ”

“Well not to his face!! Shut the hell up. I- that ain’t even the worst of it! I’ve been _flirting_ with Jack Zimmermann, Shitty. Under the pretense he was a dad, yeah, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“I love it! You just made my week, bro,” Shitty continued to laugh, tears coming to his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I _didn’t know_ ,” Bitty said, voice grave. “I should have told you the moment I found out he went to Samwell. It didn’t even occur to me until the other week that you might’ve known him, bein’ on the hockey team and all. Lord. Lay me to rest, I’ll never recover from this.”

Shitty just kept laughing his ass off, turning in order to slap his hand on the counter. “Bits. Bits. It’s okay, don’t fucking worry, bro. He probably likes the fact you didn’t recognize him. He doesn’t like it when people know his story before they know him, y’know?”

“I.. I don’t know his story, so, no. Ugh, now I gotta google him. Jesus,” Bitty sucked in a breath and took out his phone.

“Or you could keep getting to know him as a person,” Shitty suggested, although Bitty already had the wikipedia page open. “I mean, you’re not gonna find a fuckton of details anyway, he keeps everything as private as he can.”

Bitty blinked, then glanced down at his phone. He let his eyes scan over the page, noting something about a scandal a few years back, the fact he attended Samwell for two regular years (Bitty already knew that), then went on to play professional hockey for an NHL team on the West Coast (Bitty had NOT known that) for some years, winning one Stanley Cup, before being traded to the Falconers this year. His parents were Bob and Alicia Zimmermann, a former NHL player and a model, respectively.

“Yeah, that didn’t offer much I didn’t already know. I just. Wow. What the fuck, Shits?”

“I don’t even know, broski,” Shitty let out another laugh. “You could always just keep pretending you don’t know he’s a famous hockey player.”

“I have no idea what I’ll do. I’ll probably run away next time I see him, I mean,” Bitty shook his head. “I can’t believe this. Why didn’t I ever start following the NHL? I like hockey. I _told him_ I liked hockey, I told him I used to play. He probably thinks I’m a complete idiot and just comes here out of obligation.”

“Bits, chill. I’m _sure_ Jack doesn’t think you’re an idiot. He’s a really good guy, like I said, he probably appreciates the fact you treated him like a regular human being”

Bitty just put his head down on the counter, mumbling something about being dead. Shitty just whistled as he took out his phone and texted Jack to ask him if he knew any good places for coffee or baked goods.

“Hey, you got any of those chocolate pecan mini pies?”

“Of course,” Bitty mumbled, head still down. He slowly lifted himself off the counter, wiped it with a rag, then went to fetch the mini pie Shitty had asked for.

“Hmmm,” Shitty said, a grin on his face as he stared down at his phone. Bitty put down the plate with the chocolate pecan pie.

“Huh? Whatcha looking at?”

“I just asked Jack if he knew any good bakeries in the area. He named this one and said ‘theres a cute blond guy working there’. And then he added ‘I don’t know if he’s working today but he’s there when I go in’.”

“He did not say that,” Bitty scoffed, grabbing Shitty’s phone. It wasn’t Jack’s exact words (he’d said nice, not cute, but the text was there. Bitty’s face was red.)

“C’mon, Bitty, he obviously thinks highly of you if he brings you up to a friend who presumably has no idea who you are. Point is, he doesn’t think you’re an idiot, and he thinks this place is the tits.”

Bitty shook his head, still blushing. “I’m still gonna die the next time he comes in.”

Bitty took a few minutes to tweet out his newfound information and embarrassment, but he left out the bit about Jack being Jack Zimmermann, NHL hockey player, just in case. He didn’t want people to know who Jack really was when he when he was known to be a private guy.

* * *

 

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

For whatever Godforsaken reason I talked to Hot Hockey not-Dad about my confusion over his identity today

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

It was a little awkward but in the end it went way better than I ever could have fathomed. Like. Wow.

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I know these tweets seem lowkey but its just because I am stunned right now.

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

To make things more clear for my followers.. I GOT HIS NUMBER!! And a request for DATE!!

It wasn’t Bitty’s usual shift, working on a Saturday morning. He switched it so he could take Thursday afternoon off. He felt a little bad that he’d probably miss Jack, but he wanted to spend time with Shitty, Lardo, Jules, and Kass (the latter two were art friends of Lardo’s that Bitty bonded with his senior year after Lardo had graduated, Shitty got to know them after college was over) on Thursday.

Beyoncé’s beautiful voice was keeping him company, the lyrics to Halo filling his space as he prepped some things for the afternoon. They’d just finished a rush, but Lunch hour wasn’t too far away, so he was expecting to be busy again soon enough.

“ _Baby I can see your halo, you know you’re my saving grace,_ ” Bitty happily sang along, sliding some pastries into the mini-oven. He heard the bell when it rang to indicate the door had been opened, and turned to see who was there.

Sophie and Cédric ran into the store and right up to the counter as Jack strolled in behind them, hands in his pocket. Bitty took a deep breath.

He had recognized that he’d been overreacting when he talked to Shitty about Hot Hockey Dad’s true identity. He couldn’t very well run from Jack at work, after all, and work was the only place he saw him. No. Bitty decided he would fess up to Jack. Tell him about the assumption he’d made (maybe not about the specific nickname, because yikes). It would make for a good conversation, anyway. Or so Bitty hoped.

“Hey y’all,” Bitty greeted them with a smile.

“Salut!” Cédric smiled back at him.

“Hey,” Jack greeted. “Today they want chicken sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies, if you have them.”

“Coming right up, sugar,” Bitty told him, turning to get everything that was asked for.

“You weren’t here Thursday,” Jack said to him when he brought over the food he’d asked for.

“Miss me?” Bitty asked, watching Jack blush and the children giggle.

“Oui!” Sophie chirped and Jack glared at her.

“Vas manger,” Jack said, shooing the children away.

“I just.. noticed you weren’t here. You weren’t sick or anything, eh?”

“Ah, naw, some of my friends are in town. Uh. People from Samwell, actually,” Bitty took hold of the rag hanging from his apron, twirling it with his fingers.

“Oh, really? I have some friends from Samwell visiting this week as well. What a coincidence.”

“Heh, yeah. I, uh, sorta already knew that. Wanna hear a funny story, Jack?” Bitty flashed a smile, trying not to sound too nervous.

“Sure, go ahead,” Jack gave him an encouraging nod.

“Well, it turns out we happen to have some mutual friends. You know Shitty, and Lardo?”

“They’re two of my best friends,” Jack nodded. “You know them as well?” Jack’s face of surprise was comical, and adorable.

“I do, yeah,” Bitty laughed. Jack shook his head.

“That’s amazing. I can’t believe we’ve had friends in common this whole time.”

“Yeah, funny facebook didn’t suggest you or anything,” Bitty chuckled. Actually, Shitty had mentioned Jack’s facebook had privacy settings so high he was nearly impossible to find and he hardly ever posted anything, anyway.

Jack just nodded, so Bitty went on, “That’s not the story, though.”

“No? What is?”

“Those ain’t your kids, are they?” Bitty asked, tilting his chin toward the table behind Jack.

“Oh, God no, they’re my sister’s kids… Didn’t I mention?”

“Not really,” Bitty chuckled. “So, here I was, this entire time, thinking they were your kids,” Bitty told him, and Jack started laughing. “I know, I know. It took me referring to you as a ‘Hot Hockey Dad’ to Shitty when I saw you on an interview for him to tell me the difference.”

“Oh, my god,” Jack laughed more and Bitty rolled his eyes. “The children, they call me Jack all the time. Well, sometimes Jacques, which is  _not_ my name, but- yeah.”

“For one, some kids do that. I mean, call their parents by their names. I don’t understand it, cause I’m from the South and I call my dad ‘sir’ and I’d never dream of using my parent’s first names, but, hey, whatever works for some people. And I couldn’t discern a name from the rest of the French they speak, I took a couple classes in college and it got me nowhere.”

Jack continued to laugh, “And I really look old enough to have a ten-year-old?”

 “I don’t know their ages, and, no, but there are enough pregnant teenagers nowadays that it’s not impossible... Wait, I don’t even know how old you are, anyway.”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Oh. Also! You mentioned you played Hockey, right?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded. “I do!”

“Yeah, well, you left out the tiny detail that it was NHL hockey you were playin’. Jesus, Jack, I didn’t know you were _famous_ this whole time. Damn.”

Jack just kept smiling at him, bright. “I figured you didn’t know or didn’t care. I don’t like the way some people treat me when they know about me, anyway. I hope I managed to make a good impression while you were in the dark, though.”

Bitty smiled at that, “Of course you did. I liked you assuming you were just a humble Canadian Hockey Dad, I’m still gonna like you even if you don’t have kids and play in the NHL.”

“Didn’t you say it was ‘Hot’ hockey dad?” Jack asked him, raising a brow.

“Don’t you chirp me when I’m trying to be sincere, Jack Zimmermann,” Bitty pointed a finger at him and Jack laughed even more.

“Sorry,” he said.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Bitty grumbled, but his grin was starting to rival Jack’s as he laughed along. “Also, I totally meant to leave that part out, but oh well. I’m glad you think it’s funny.”

“It’s, uh, very flattering,” Jack said, glancing down.

“Have I ever told you how cute it is when you get all flustered like that?” Bitty asked and Jack looked up at him with wide eyes.

“If I can’t chirp when you’re being sincere, you shouldn’t do it while I’m being sincere either,” Jack narrowed his eyes and Bitty giggled, holding a hand to his mouth.

“Deal,” Bitty said. Jack took a deep breath, then glanced behind him. Sophie and Cédric were about finished their food.

“Um- I’ll be right back to pay. I’m just gonna go check on them for a second,” Jack said, going over to them.

“Uh, alright,” Bitty said, turning around to find something he could do for a moment. Well, that was abrupt. Bitty didn’t pay any mind to it, he just starting humming along to the music that was still playing from the radio.

When he turned again, Jack was back at the counter. Bitty rung him in and Jack paid for his things, then he slid a twenty-dollar bill on the counter towards Bitty.

“Your tip,” he said almost shyly and Bitty clicked his tongue.

“Jack! I am not taking a twenty dollar tip on a ten dollar purchase, that is ridiculous,” Bitty chastised, grabbing the bill in order to give it back to Jack. As he moved the bill, though, something else fell on the ground. Bitty titled his head and tossed the money back down on the counter, squatting down to pick up the slip of paper.

In a pretty scrawl, the piece of paper had written on it ‘J Zimmermann’ and a phone number. Bitty blushed as he stood up, smiling.  

“Awh, Jack,” Bitty took out his phone and pulled up a new contact entry, glancing over his phone at Jack, who looked slightly unsure of himself.

“I- I had actually planned to give it to you Thursday, Eric, but you weren’t here,” Jack rubbed the back of his neck.

“You really did miss me, huh? In one sense of the word,” Bitty said with a wink. “Well, better late then never. There. I sent you a text, so you have my number now, too.”

“Okay, good.” Jack’s phone buzzed and he looked at it. He opened the text in order to add Eric as a contact.

“Also, sidenote, not totally relevant, but.. If you want, you can call me Bitty, rather than Eric. It’s, well, it’s up to you, but most of my friends call me Bitty.”

“Bitty,” Jack said. “Okay,” he nodded. Bitty smiled at him. “Uh. One more thing?” Jack asked.

“Anything, honey,” Bitty smiled and Jack’s face just went redder. He opened his mouth to speak, but someone addressed him in French from behind.

“Non,” Jack put a hand on his face, “pas encore.”

“Ok, ok,” Sophie said. She stood there, looking between Eric and Jack, seemingly expectant.

“Aller,” Jack hissed, taking her shoulder and turning her as she whined about it.

“Um,” Bitty laughed.

“Are you free tomorrow? I’ve never seen you in on a Sunday before, so, uh, I figured it was a day off for you.”

“That would be correct, yes,” Bitty said. “I’m free.”

“Okay, um, would you like to… go out for coffee, or, ice cream or something? Or, it doesn’t have to be food or anything, just.. would you like to go out? With me?” Jack was speaking low and jumped when he heard the bell behind them.

“Yes, most definitely. I’ll text you about it, kay?” Bitty said, reaching to lightly touch Jack’s hand where he was gripping the counter with white knuckles.

“Okay,” Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

The past couple months sure have been a whirlwind... it’s been crazy, but good.

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

And, my lovely followers, today I have some exciting news!!

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

For those who have been with me for a while, Jack, aka Hot Hockey (not) Dad, has a new nickname

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Jack will henceforth be known as “Hot Hockey Boyfriend”. ((not really))

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Stupid joking aside, we’re dating now <3 <3 <3

 

“Oh my god,” Bitty looked around in awe as he entered Jack’s kitchen, marveling at the beautiful space. It was so _big_ and full of so much potential. “How have you never brought me here before?”

“Um.. the first time we hung out outside of the bakery was under four weeks ago, Bittle.”

“Shoot, it’s only been a month?” Bitty turned around to see Jack was right behind him, arms reaching out to hold his waist. Bitty smiled and put his hands on Jack’s chest, looking up with fondness in his eyes. “It feels like we’ve been together forever.”

“Mh,” Jack leaned down to kiss him, then held his gaze. “Is that what we are? Together?”

“Uh.. I mean, right now, we are, yes,” Bitty said.

“I meant like.. Are we together, together? We’ve been on, like, six dates over the past few weeks, but are we ‘dating’? Like, exclusively, now, I mean?”

“Are you tryna ask me if we’re boyfriends?” Bitty asked.

“Yes? Or, I mean, I could be asking you to be my boyfriend,” Jack said, blushing. “I-I mean, I realize that asking you that is implying more than it would be if I were anyone else… I’m not out, publically, Bits, and you know that. I’d totally understand if you don’t want to take this to the next level-“

“Sssh,” Bitty lifted up and kissed Jack on the lips. “Of course I want to be your boyfriend, Jack. I dunno about who you’ve dated in the past, but I wouldn’t go out on six dates with a guy I wasn’t interested in. I don’t like to hurt that much.”

“Okay,” Jack breathed. “Okay,” he repeated.

“I’m just glad you asked me out in the first place.”

“Yeah, that was terrifying. I’m surprised I managed to do that in public without, like, spontaneously combusting.”

“You looked like you were about to faint when someone came in the shop,” Bitty snickered.

“That isn’t funny,” Jack told him, face stern.

“Yes it is. I used to faint all the time, anyway,” Bitty shrugged.

“What? Why? Are you okay?” Jack’s brows dipped in concern, his lips in a tight frown.

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. Like.. back when I started hockey at Samwell, if anyone looked like they were going to check me, I’d just. Drop. Out like a light.”

Jack looked every bit as concerned as he was the moment prior.

“It’s fine,” Bitty assured him. “I mean, it ended up being the reason I quit the team, but I survived it. Besides, I got to join baking club after I quit hockey, I got to keep the friends I made on the team, and I stopped fainting on the ice.”

“Okay.. if you say so,” Jack continued to regard him with muted worry and Bitty just waved his hand at him.

Bitty just pressed his face into Jack’s chest and Jack wrapped his arms around him tightly. He felt like there was a lot more to that story, but he could press his boyfriend for it later. Their relationship was only new, Jack couldn’t expect to know everything about Bitty and his past right at the very beginning.

“So!” Bitty said, pulling back enough to look at Jack but not too far. “How about you let me cook you something good in this big kitchen of yours?”

“If that’s what you want. I can help you, too.”

“I would like nothing better,” Bitty said, pulling Jack down for another kiss. “My Hot Hockey Boyfriend.” That got another laugh from Jack, warm, the smile reaching his eyes. Bitty slowly let go and went to root around in Jack’s fridge. “Can I call you that on twitter?”

“Your Hot Hockey Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. I’ve used Hot Hockey Dad and Hot Hockey (not) Dad to refer to you before. And, well, I have called you Jack. But I never use your last name or, or reference your job or anything, promise.”

“Ah, okay. Well, you can call me whatever you like, barring using my last name.”

“Sounds great, honey,” Bitty grinned.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

To those of you who pay any attention to NHL or watch any news that reports on sports and may have seen my face in the media…

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

Yes, the “Jack” formerly known as Hot Hockey Dad and currently known as Hot Hockey Boyfriend is actually Jack Zimmermann, and has always been Jack Zimmermann.

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I’m awful sorry we couldn’t let y’all know any sooner! Jack hadn’t been planning on coming out until after he retired from the NHL because he didn’t think he had a good enough reason when he wasn’t dating anybody. Annnddd then we started dating last summer.

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

We talked about it when he made the playoffs and when he won the cup we made the decision to kiss on camera and let the hockey world go nuts if they wanted to. They did.  But both me and Jack have been the happiest we’ve ever been. It was a good decision.

 

    Eric Bittle

   @omgcheckplease

I mean, I know you guys have always been supportive of me. I’ve been out online for as long as I’ve been here. I’m glad I can finally share this with ya’ll too.

 

Jack flipped through the channels, watching some of the reports on his kiss with Bitty after winning the cup as well as some clips of the interviews he’d agreed to do on the subject of his sexuality and his relationship with his boyfriend. Most of the reactions they were airing were fairly positive, which Jack was impressed by.

Eric carried in a plate with what had to be a quarter of a pie and plopped down next to him, passing him a fork.

“Thank you,” Jack said, sticking his fork into the side of pie closest to him.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Bitty held the plate with one hand and stuck his fork in with the other, humming happily as he took a pie.

“This crust is perfect,” Jack told him.

“Why thank you,” Bitty smiled. He looked up at the TV where someone was discussing _him_ and his relationship with Jack with a picture of the two of them kissing in a box hovering to the side of her head. It was downright surreal.

“I think I might make a twitter,” Jack said, looking over at him. Bitty’s eyes widened and he grinned.

“Really?”

“Now that we’re, y’know, out, I think I might like a bigger ‘social media presence’. I just mean.. I’d sort of like to be able to use this platform a little better, maybe communicate with fans who have similar struggles, yeah? I mean, I have instagram for my photos, but nowhere to put words.”

“Awh, Jack, that is the sweetest reason for having social media. I can help you set it up, if you’d like!”

“That would be wonderful. Maybe later tonight.”

“Sure thing, sugar,” Bitty pressed his face into Jack’s shoulder. “And I think I’m gonna write a few posts about us, if that’s okay. Tell my followers the true identity of my Hot Hockey Boyfriend and all.”

Jack chuckled, as he always did, at the nickname given to him by Bitty. “That’s a good idea. The PR team knows all about your twitter and they’re okay with you posting about me, you were there for that meeting.”

“Yeah, I was, but I just like to make sure _you’re_ comfortable with it.”

“Of course,” Jack turned to kiss Bitty on the lips. “I’m proud to be your boyfriend. I want you to tell whoever you want to know.”

“Okay,” Bitty smiled and went back to eating pie, plotting out in his head what he wanted to tweet to his followers.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Again, If this is incorrect I am sorry. we learned more Acadien French at my French camp so I'm not very well-versed in Quebecois. Hopefully with the help of some of the people who have commented on this work it's pretty okay now. 
> 
> “Dites merci” Say thank you  
> “Merci” thank you  
> “En Anglais” in English  
> “De rien” you’re welcome  
> “On doit partir, il est presque quatre heures” I want to leave. It’s almost 4:00  
> “Ah, désolé. On va y aller” Oh, sorry. We’re going to go.  
> “Quoi?” What?  
> “J'essaye d'être patiente, mais tu jases pas mal. Je sais que tu l'aimes bien, j'aimerais bien avoir un morceau de tarte. Tu parleras avec ton chum tantôt quand il va travailler" I’m trying to wait, but you speak a lot. I know you like him, but I want pie please. Talk with your boyfriend while he works.  
> “Ne dit pas que je-Sophie!” Don’t say that I-  
> “On s'en fout Jack, il ne comprend rien. Demande-lui pour la tarte!” He doesn’t understand, it’s okay. Ask him for the pie!  
> “Non, fais-le toi! Chochotte.” No! You do it. Scardey (I don't know the actual translation of this but a lovely person in the comments describes it roughly as "a term used to tease someone who doesn't want to do something").  
> “Tu sais que je ne veux pas parler Anglais!” You know I don’t want to speak English!  
> “Je m’en fous,” I don’t care  
> “Mais Jack, j'hais ça. Si tu m'obliges à parler en anglais, je vais lui dire que tu as un crush sur lui” But Jack, I don’t like it. If I have to speak English, I going to tell him you have a crush on him  
> “Chut” Shut it  
> “Ils se chicanent,” They’re fighting.  
> “Non, pas encore,” No, not yet  
> “Aller,” Go (it’s the verb for “to go” but it’s my understanding you can also mean it to cheer someone on… or to tell them to get a move on. In this case it’s the last one, Jack’s trying to get the kids away)
> 
> ALSO unrelated to the French part of things, in this AU Jack has a half-sister. She's the mother of the kids who are always with him. Her name is Alice and she has a sweet wife named Ellie. I might write more about them in some other fic, we'll see.


End file.
